dear math :'(

math , i'm trying to NEVER hate you .
cause you are my best subject ever ! , for me you are the basic of all the subject !
but , why are you trying to change it all ? why are u changing my.life ? you've made me cry .. :'( honestly i love You just same as my parents and my God , i couldn't hate you :'( .

but i couldn't pretend anymore , eveything around me has changed ! and i look at my heart they looks so strange ! i'm so scare :( no happiness , no laugh :'( why ? is there something goes wrong ?

 and honestly i couldn't be strong like her , she still loving her subject as well , while me ? i'm still trying to love you more than yesterday , but i've a big war among my self and my heart .

 also , it's really hurt me when i hear that the attention of him for her is more than he gave me . math . you've changed all :'( . everythings are different for me . it's really hurt for me . really !
 even , if i could cry . i'll cry in front of you , him and her ! but . i even didn't have any strength to do that :'(

  and i'm trying :( to never hate her , and of course YOU ! :'(

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Di saat Gue harus milih .

hy bloggers ! :*
udah lama ni ga share , critanya ni mw curhat *cielahh* tentang pngalaman gue :( .
 critanya gini , gue tuh dlu anak alim *masa si ?* ngapal surat di alqur-an , ga ska kluar , slalu blajar :D . gue emang gaptek, lugu dan ceplas ceplos .
  emang sii , gue di bilang anak rumahan . bahkan neighbor gue-pun , gue ga tauu namanya , plingan cma senyum doank ;p . gue bangga pada kehidupan gue saat itu . bahkan gue ga pernah nangis kerena sesuatu yg sepele .
  hal ini berubah ketika gue mendudki bangku smp . everything has changed  ! gue udah jarang ngaji karena sibuk ngurusin masalah dunia , malas , sering keluar , blajarr-pn nti ulangan . dan yg paling pnting gue tipe orang yang ga bisa nahan marah , and at last gue harus nahan seluruh emosi gue di skolah yang gue dduki hampir 2 thun ni .
  gue ga tau pasti , apa yg nge-rubah sikap gue ni . apakah mungkin krena gue dalam masa remaja ? ataupun lingkungan *teman2* gue .
   pernah terjadi suatu masalah , tmn gue bnci bngt ma gue padahal seingt gue , pda tempo doloe ajh dnia tuh serasa milik gue . none hates me ! , dia cerita ttg gue di blkang gue , pkokny smwny deh *gue malas nge-bahas masalah ni -- :(*
   gue nahan2 untuk marah dan lain2 . gue mncoba untk bersikap lbih sabar . walapun gue tau , sbagian orng ga ngerti knp ge hrus brsikap sabar . even understand about me .
   tapi satu hal yg bisa gue dapatkan saat ini yg gue ga pernah bahkan benci untuk mengatakanny : arti kekeluargaan , dari sini gue belajar , gimana nge-hargain orang , gimana gue sayang ma tmn2 gue .tpii mungkin ni memang takdir gue untuk merasakan 2 dunia yang berbeda 180 derajat .
   tapi *lagi* , gue seneng , at least gue besa nge-bedain yang mana the real life exactly :*
 dan kadang , gue sadar kehidpan yang di junjung tinggi oleh Tuhan , adalah kehidpan trbaik . dirimu akan bisa mngontrol hati , perasaan , feeling and of course your attitude .
  at least gue mau ngucapin thxx yg udah ngajarin gue . gmna ntu arti khidupan , dan lain lain :*
dan yg pling trpenting gue hany perlu take a summary from this life , so that i could run this life as well as all people hopes .  :)
bye : success ya !

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Blog baru ^^

akhirnyaa ! setelah sekian lama ..

akhirny punya blog juga dah . hehe , honestly sebelumnya ga tau apaan si blog ntu ? dan macam-macam . akan tetapii ..

yah gini ..

alhamdulillah dah ! ^^ thanks God .

   maap ya . kalau Gaje . tapii insya Allah seterusnya ga .. amin :)

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A little Girl whom tired to hide the pain inside

i am so tired pretend this feeling :')

The only dream that I really wish right now is to cry and scream in a lonely day without anyone about my.life
Honestly , I am so tired to hide this pain in front of people around me , cause the only feeling that I feel right now is hurt !

 Maybe they could see my.smile ..
But this is the smile of tired !
the smile of pain that I’ve been hiding since long.long ago !

I am hurt ,I am tired for being this ,
I am tired to pretend this :'(

Yah ..
It’s hard  be a bigger person ,
It’s hard to be adult ,
Cause every time when I hide my.pain and look at in front ,

 I AM CRYING  .. :’(

Yeap , this is the fact !
I Am still a little girl ..
A spoiled girl ,
That doesn’t know the purpose that should be reached .. :’)

Please , understand me ,
“ A little girl whom tired to hide the pain inside .. :’) “

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How the way to make you know that YOU are MORE THAN WONDERFUL?

i dunnot know , after hearing this song i was crying :( .

"bagaimana caranya agar kamu tahu bahwa
kau lebih dari indah di dalam hati ini
lewat lagu ini ku ingin kamu mengerti
aku sayang kamu, ku ingin bersamamu"

i feel i'm scare of losing something that i have , i dunnot want to if it's happen , eventhough i know that i should and i have to . but i can't !
 God *Allah* says that He will not give someone a trial if he/she couldn't through it . ya i can't ! i dunnot want to cry , i dunnot want to all the things that i unwish will come true :(
 and i want they know that all of them are wonderful for me ! even more ..
 will God hear it ?Hopefully ..
and my last word says " YOU ARE MORE THAN WONDERFUL"

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just an ordinary girl that hope to be perfect .

 ya , i'm just an ordinary girl that hope to be perfect .
for me everythings are hard to be reached .
i know it , i'm not perfect :'( i annoy you all . but don't you know that i regret with it ? ya , i know maybe i'm so spoiled , i'm so annoying you all , AND I'M NOT PERFECT .

i also knew that many friends that hates me , i dunnot know what things that makes them hate me is ..
where nothing to be jealous with me . i've nothing more than ordinary ! while you ? maybe you're more tha lucky !

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i'm your inspiration :)

 gini ye . smua orang tu pasti bangga banget kalau puny blog *hahha b'lie !* trmasuk gue tentunya :)
   kalau untuk 8c sii , emang beberapa boys.ny udah puny blog ye :p .
  tapii , kalau dari cweny ya . GUE MAH ITU :P haha .
     # tumben gueny jdi inspiration ?
haha . tapi gueny bangga , itung-itung kalau mereka berhasil sii , gue yang jdi saksi sjarah dalam promotion successny mereka . *iddiihh ngarep.com*
    tapi gue mah niatny a buat orang di sekeliling gue bahagia , happy seneng dah ! :*
wherever it's . the point is they're happy :* . emang sii kyak ngorbanin smua yg gue puny . tpii gue ntu sukany buat orang hepi ajh :) .
   and thanks for you all that's inspirated by me :*

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my Best brother ! :)

this not is belong to someone in jakarta :)

     RINDU . RINDU . RINDU ! kata-kata yang pantas mengawali kesedihan gue ! idddiihh -_- ndTs nangis haha :D , jarang sii nangis karena orang . kecuali emang benar-benar menyedihkan .. hehe :p
     kakak gue namany k'sendi ,  ga tau apa yg buat gue tiba-tiba missing him ? ga tau aah, poko'e kkak yang pernah gendong gue waktu ke ancol , yang tenangin gue saat gue nangis .
hmm , kakak gue sekarang sibuknya minta ampun ! gue.nya yang sedih . maybe this is just my feeling , i feel uncomfortable with him . gimana ye ? kadang-kadang nelfon gtuu ma gue , blaz wallpost gue . tapii ! skarang BERUBAH DRASTIS CIIIINN ! idih .. ga suka !
    arrghh ! this is makes me missing jakarta ! missing the film of my.beloved boo :*
, missing ancol . missing dufan --'
 idihh , kk :* i'm missing you right now ! really you know !

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